Raphter
by SKaroe
Summary: A mock one shot story of Raphael and Stockman-Fly. Dedicated to meinangelx3; because fly puns are the best puns.


[For meinangelx3; 'cause fly puns are some of the best puns.]

* * *

Another argument occured between the red-banded and blue-banded turtles. Raphael had been throwing punches on his punching bag, and as usual, Leonardo had to show off his moves and kicked the punching bag. But Leo had kicked it too roughly and made the bag fall down. The handmade Shredder hat they had put on the punching bag had torn into it and caused the sand inside to leak out. Raph growled under his breath as Leo started to apologize, but he wasn't having it.

"Raph, I'm sorry- -" Leo started.

"No, you know what? Like always, you try to one up me, and now your little move cost me my punching dummy!"

"Take it easy, Raph, we can find another one," Leo added.

"What if we don't find another one, huh? I can't punch Mikey whenever I wanna; I'd get my shell kicked by Splinter!"

"I'll look for one tomorrow. Geez, calm down!"

"No! You're always trying to be 'Mr. Tough Guy'; well, you cost me the one thing I'm allowed to punch at my will." Raph turned on his heel and headed for the exit.

"Hey! Where are you going? We already did our nightly patrol."

"I need some air. Besides, we can't always depend on ya. Maybe you missed something that I won't."

Leo rolled his eyes and scoffed as Raph stormed away. Mikey and Donnie were ready to go after him, but Leo extended his arms and stopped them in their tracks. He wasn't gonna lost track of all three of his brothers; he'd go after Raph when he felt that the time was right. Or whenever Splinter noticed and would scold him to. Whichever came first.

* * *

Raph ran rooftop after rooftop, the cool, crisp air leaving goosebumps on his skin. He finally took a break after leaping almost every rooftop of the city. He let out a low, loud growl and started punching and kicking and using his sais on whatever was on the roof. He stopped when he heard some rustling from the ground below. He went into stealth mode and crouched down behind something, looking down on what the heck was making a loud noise that people weren't coming out to see.

Seeing a figure going through the trash can, Raph rolled his eyes. ' _Probably some strays rummaging through trash, like usual,_ ' Raph thought to himself. ' _What was I thinking; thinking I'd find some butt to bash at this time of-_ ' Raph's thoughts were interrupted when he saw the figure's head pop up; he'd know that head anywhere.

"Stockman?" Raph hissed a bit too loudly.

"What? Who'ssss there?" Stockman looked around him. Seeing no one, he went on to digging through the garbage.

Raph let out a soft 'whew', relieved Stockman hadn't spotted him. Raph was about to turn away from the last person he'd consider a threat, but something inside him made his feet grow heavy and made him stay in place. Something about Stockman-Fly's grotesque features... appealed to the teenage terrapin. Raph slapped himself hard as these thoughts ran through his head.

"No! He-he's nothing but a fly!" Raph spat at himself. "And he's a loser who works for the Shredder!"

Raph turned around and started to go, but he couldn't go just yet... he wanted to do something, but he didn't know what. Raph sneaked another peek at Stockman-Fly, and he instinctively bit down on his lip. He was practically bouncing in place. Raph accidentally elbowed a chunk of wood that was on the railing of the rooftop and jumped as it fell down into the garbage. Stockman-Fly flew out of the garbage and looked up, seeing a figure dash away.

"Y-you won't get away with thisssss!" Stockman-Fly buzzed. He flew up and landed on the rooftop, looking around. "Ssssshow yourssself!"

Raph didn't dare move, he just looked Stockman-Fly up and down from afar. He pinched himself and let out a little yelp. What was getting into him?

Stockman-Fly narrowed his big bug eyes a bit and darted towards the yelp, reaching his arm out. He grabbed a firm hold of Raph's wrist and yanked him out from his hiding spot, and he quickly let go. "You! What are you doing here? Where are your brotherssss?"

Raph snapped himself out of his daze of Stockman. "What are you doing going through garbage? That's gross, man!"

"Look who'sssss talking! You live in the sssssewerss!"

"I don't eat trash, though!" Seeing Stockman's features up distracted Raph. He couldn't rip his gaze away from Stockman-Fly's face.

"-hey! Are you even lissstening?"

"What?" Raph didn't have any insults in mind, so he did what he was aching to do. Raph wrapped his arm around Stockman's slim figure and brought him close.

"What are you doing?!" Stockman-Fly shrieked as Raph inched closer to him. This attention was new and... exciting.

"I'm uhm- - I'm bringing you closer to get a better aim!"

"A better aim of what, exxxactly?" Stockman-Fly asked, a hint of flirtation in his voice.

"A better aim of... oh, whatever, I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you," Raph tried to say in vain. Raph pushed Stockman-Fly away, trying to compose himself.

"Thisss isssn't over, turtle!"

Getting Stockman's hint that they would meet again, Raph played along. "You bet it isn't! It is on, bug!"

"Bring your bessst nexxxt time, asss I will do." Stockman-Fly flew away, and Raph gazed longingly at the mutant fly.

"Yeah, do the only thing you're good at and fly away!" Raph couldn't wait to encounter the fly again.

* * *

Raph went home and grazed by Leo, not uttering a word to his brothers as he slammed his door. Leo tried talking to Raph, but Raph wouldn't let him in- mostly because Raph didn't want Leo or anyone in his family to see how big he was smiling. So Raph found ways to pick fights with his brothers; TV, videogames, sparring- he'd find a way to get into a fight with any of them and would storm out to see Stockman again. This went on for a while. Noticing a pattern, Leo was determined to find out why Raph was being more angry than usual. Leo pulled Raph aside as they were watching some TV and pressed Raph against the wall with all his might, throwing Raph off guard.

"Hey, what's the deal?" Raph hissed as Leo put more pressure into his hold. "Leo! What the shell?"

"What's up with you? Why are you picking so many fights lately?"

"What does it matter? You wouldn't care, anyways."

"I would if you let me know what was going on." Leo let go of Raph, trusting that Raph would stay. "What's going on with you?"

Raph knew his act was going to be recognized by someone; he was just hoping anyone but Leo. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"Yeah, okay. 'Nothing' is bothering you."

"Yeah, exactly. Nothing is bothering me. I'm gonna go outside." Raph went for the exit, but Leo grabbed onto Raph's wrist tightly. "Leo, lemme go."

"You're not going out tonight, Raph. Not unless you tell me what's going on."

Raph sighed. He couldn't ditch Stockman. "Alright. Fine. Stockman's been on the streets lately. I've been pickin' fights so I could go and bash him myself."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"He's nothing to worry about; he's a fly, dude. I can take him easy."

Leo eyed Raph and noticed something unfamiliar on his belt. "Is that why you have a fly swatter?"

Raph cleared his throat. "Yeah. Everyone knows flies hate fly swatters. I'll go handle him."

"You sure you don't need us to come with you? You've been 'handling' him for a while, and he's still an issue?"

"He's determined; I can respect that. I've got this, Leo. You gotta trust me. You do, don't ya?"

Leo sighed. "Yeah, I can. Just, get home early. Splinter will bust your chops again if you come late."

Raph nodded and gave Leo a hard shove, making him fall to the ground.

"Raph! What the shell was that for?"

"See you whenever, Lame-o-nardo!" Raph called as he left. Nothing wrong with a dramatic exit.

* * *

Raph panted as he barely made it to meet Stockman-Fly. Stockman had his wings strung down and his hands on his hips as Raph tried catching his breath.

"Wwhy are you ssso out of breath?" Stockman-Fly asked, his foot tapping.

"Sorry," Raph breathed. "Leo got onto me. I told him what was going on."

Stockman-Fly leaped in the air, his wings supporting him. "You did what? You sssaid thiss wass our little ssecret!"

"I didn't tell him about us, I told him I was just... catching you and teaching you a lesson, is all."

"That'sss sso lllike you," Stockman-Fly spat, turning his back to the turtle.

Raph sighed and stepped to Stockman's side, trailing his fingers on Stockman's arms, a smirk on his face. Shivering at Raph's calloused fingertips, Stockman winced away. Raph snickered, clutching on his wrist. "Don't be such a _buzzkill_."

"Don't be sssuch a knucklehead, then," Stockman replied, feeling his body heat up a bit. "Sso, what'd you brring thiss time?"

"Close your eyes," Raph urged, to which Stockman obeyed. Raph crept behind the mutant fly and reached for his fly swatter. He bit down on his lip to keep himself from laughing as he swung the swatter and heard the loud smack as it made contact with Stockman's bum. Stockman let out a shriek as he jumped and rubbed his bum.

"Hey!"

"You liked it," Raph chuckled. "Don't like because I know ya did. It's all in your big bug eyes. Hey, I gotta joke to tell ya."

Raph had discovered that despite being a fly, Stockman loved puns and jokes involving flies. "Okay, what?"

"So there's a bug on a fly's back. The fly asks, 'Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?' The bug on the fly's back says, _'I mite be!'_ "

Stockman rolled his eyes. "Stupidest pun I've ever heard."

"What do you expect? I made it _on the fly'_." Raph started laughing his shell off, and Stockman couldn't help but to 'smile' at the turtle's laughter. "I am so funny."

"Pssssht, when you think you are, the jokesss are lame," Stockman scoffed. Raph ceased his laughter and turned his shell to Stockman. Stockman flew to his side and let his feelers rub on Raph's skin. "I'm sssorry, I didn't mean to _fly off the handle_ like that."

Raph tried to hide his smile, but he couldn't. "Sometimes I wanna shut you up myself."

"Well, I never opposssed," Stockman lured as he flew away from the hotheaded turtle. "You reptiles are always so _cold_."

"Ha ha ha," Raph snickered. "You're a real catch. No wonder spiders are always after ya."

"How dddare you?" Stockman hissed.

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"At leasssst creaturessss try to catch me."

Raph narrowed his eyes at the challenge. He rushed to Stockman's side and grabbed a hold of him. "Well, you're stuck with me. No other pest is gonna amuse me like you do, and I ain't letting you amuse anyone else but me. If I catch ya talking to anyone else, I'll swat ya away for good."

"Jeeeezzz, it wass jusst a joke," Stockman mumbled.

"Hey, I used to see you as a joke and now you're really something to me."

"Rrreally?"

"Nah," Raph shoved Stockman away. "I always can find another pest to mess with. It just happens to be that you're my #1 pest."

"Isss that a pun."

"Yeah, flies are the #1 pests in like, the world."

"Ha ha ha."

"You loved it."

"Shut up."

* * *

Leo couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. He followed Raph out of the lair and lingered behind another building and watched from afar. He didn't know that this is what Raph meant by "handling Stockman", but he didn't wanna bring it up. It'd be weird for both of them to talk about. He'd leave the future mishaps with Stockman-Fly up to Raph to deal with. But for now, Leo was getting the shell outta there to leave... Raphter... alone.


End file.
